Law

So You Want a Family Lawyer? First, Let’s Figure Out What You Actually Need (Part 2/2)

April 13, 2025
Servy Info

Hi! Since we’re meeting here, I take that you find So You Want a Family Lawyer? First, Let’s Figure Out What You Actually Need (Part 1/2) useful and eager to know more about the last but not least two crucial steps. So, without further ado, here they are:


Step 4: Consider timing and urgency.

Do you have a looming deadline or emergency? For instance, has the other parent already filed something requiring you to respond by next week? Is your wedding date approaching and you need a prenup drafted ASAP? Urgency will affect how you search for a lawyer (you might need to hire one quickly versus taking your time to interview multiple people). If there’s an immediate issue—like domestic violence—your first need might be a protective order and a safety plan, which definitely calls for legal help right away. Or if you were just served divorce papers, note the response deadline (usually 20-30 days) and prioritize getting a consultation well before then. On the flip side, if you’re just contemplating divorce but nothing’s filed yet, you have the luxury of time to do thorough research and maybe even do pre-divorce planning with a lawyer. Knowing your timeline helps dictate how extensive your search will be.

Step 5: Assess your budget and resources.

Let’s be real: attorneys aren’t cheap. Family lawyers’ fees can range widely (from perhaps $150/hour for a new solo practitioner in a small town to $600+/hour for an experienced big-city attorney). Some require hefty retainers up front; others might be more flexible. Figure out what you can afford or if you have access to funds for this (savings, help from family, etc.). Also consider alternatives: Are you eligible for any free legal aid?

Many states have legal aid organizations or volunteer lawyer programs for low-income individuals, especially in cases involving domestic violence or child welfare. If you truly cannot afford much, you might seek an attorney for a limited scope arrangement (for example, you pay a smaller flat fee for just a consultation and document review, but not full representation). Understanding your financial parameters will help you discuss fees candidly with prospective lawyers and avoid wasting time on those outside your budget.

Don’t forget: not hiring a lawyer can be more costly in the long run (as our previous article Must I Lawyer Up? Surprising Scenarios in US Family Law showed), so view this as an investment in your future. Many lawyers offer payment plans or take credit cards. Pro tip: also think about the value of your time. If you’ll spend 100 hours struggling to learn the law and still do it wrong, that’s time you could have spent at work or with family—sometimes paying a lawyer is financially sensible when you frame it that way.

Once you’ve gone through these steps, you should have a clearer picture of: (a) whether you need a lawyer at all (in most contested or complex matters, you do), and (b) what kind of lawyering style and expertise you require if you do.

To summarize in a handy way, here’s a quick self-assessment checklist:

Checklist: Do I Need a Family Lawyer?
(If you answer “Yes” to any of these, strongly consider consulting one.)

  • Is the other party already represented by a lawyer? (If yes, you almost certainly need your own lawyer to level the playing field . Going solo against an attorney is like bringing a knife to a gunfight.)
  • Is there significant conflict or a lot at stake? (Yes = get a lawyer. Examples: custody fight, large assets or debts to divide, allegations of abuse, one party not cooperating. These situations are legally and emotionally complex.)
  • Do you feel lost about the legal process or unsure of your rights? (Yes = talk to a lawyer. Feeling confused is normal; a consultation can clarify things and prevent costly mistakes.)
  • Are there any signs of hidden information or dishonesty from the other side? (Yes = you need a lawyer’s help to do discovery – e.g., subpoena financial records, request a custody evaluation, etc.)
  • Is there a power imbalance or safety concern? (Yes = definitely get a lawyer. If your ex controls all the money or has a history of intimidation or violence, you need an advocate. A lawyer can help obtain restraining orders and ensure your voice is heard without you directly confronting an abuser in court.)
  • Is this a life-altering decision or agreement? (Divorce settlements and custody orders have long-term consequences. If you’re about to sign anything that will profoundly affect your finances or your children, having a lawyer review it is wise, even if you negotiated it yourselves.)

If you answered “No” to all of the above—perhaps your situation is genuinely straightforward or low-conflict—you might not need to retain a lawyer for full representation. But even then, consider at least a one-time consultation or document review. Many people opt to have an attorney look over a divorce agreement before they submit it to court, to catch any omissions or legal issues. Think of it as a safety check.


Congratulations! You’re officially way smarter about your family-lawyer needs than when you started—see, you’re practically halfway to honorary legal eagle status (don’t worry, no bar exam required). Now that you’ve nailed down exactly what you’re looking for, let’s tackle the next big adventure together: actually finding your ideal US family lawyer without losing your sanity or your sense of humor. Check out our next article—I’ve got your back, and we’ll navigate this legal jungle step-by-step!

How Does a PRO Find and Evaluate the Right Family Lawyer ?(Step-by-Step 1/2)